


Saturday Night

by 221Browncoat



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Brotherly Love, Gen, and diego gets very very drunk, and klaus is sober, and they hug it out, bros, dumb humor, idk - Freeform, just read it, kind of sad, takes place when?, they talk about sad things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 08:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18687754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221Browncoat/pseuds/221Browncoat
Summary: Diego gets hammered and Klaus helps him out. It's kind of sad, I like to think it's kinda funny, mostly it's about Klaus learning to feel good about himself because he's a good brother.





	Saturday Night

They're sitting cross-legged on the floor and facing each other, as they've been doing every day for the past week, for hours at a time. Both of them have their eyes closed and they're taking slow, deep breaths-in through the nose out through the mouth. They're like that for a while, quiet.

"Okay," Klaus breathes, opening his eyes. "Should we try again?"

Ben opens his eyes, too. "Yep. Let's do this."

They both take one more deep breath, and then lift their hands, palms out. Slowly, they reach toward each other, staring at their hands and not daring to make eye contact with each other. Each brother audibly takes a breath and holds it as the space between their hands grows smaller and smaller…

And then Klaus's hands pass right through Ben's.

"Dammit!" Ben cries as Klaus throws his hands up in defeat.

"Welp, we tried your plan. Meditation? Doesn't do shit."

"It was worth a shot," Ben says, a little defensively. "You have a better idea?"

"Why yes, Casper, I do."

Ben bristles at the nickname. "Don't call me that. What's your plan?"

Klaus plucks a soggy marshmallow from a half-eaten bowl of Lucky Charms that's god knows how old and flicks it at Ben, sending it sailing through his forehead. "Pissing you off," he says with a grin as Ben glares at him. He's reaching for another piece of cereal when his phone starts vibrating. He frowns as he shifts and reaches into his back pocket.

He frowns more when he sees who's calling.

"What?" Ben asks.

Klaus raises his eyebrows and holds up one finger as he puts his phone to his ear. "Diego, darling! Do you have any idea how late it is? Or-early, I suppose, at this point."

There's no answer at first, just a lot of background noise and thumping bass and a girl chanting  _shots!_  at the top of her lungs, and Klaus knows exactly what kind of phone call this is.

It's the kind of call he's made a million times.

"Diego?"

" _Kl-Klaus? Heyyy, Klaus 'sat you? It's me, Diego!"_ His words are thick and sloppy.

Maybe it's because he's not used to being on this end of things, but something in Klaus softens at the sound of his brother's being shitfaced and the urge to laugh dies down, replaced with something that is dangerously close to responsibility.

"Yeah, it's me. What's up?"

" _The damn bartender-no offense!-the damn bastard bartender's cuttin' me off 'n he took my fucking keys 'n I don't have cab for a cash...Cash for a cab. Whatever, jus'...can you come'n get me?"_

"Where are you?"

" _The...what's this place called again?...Pink Shit? Oh, Pink Slip. 'm at The Pink Slip."_

"I'll be right there," Klaus says.

"He okay?" Ben says.

Klaus nods and holds his phone away from his face. "Just a little…" He mimes  _drunk_  with his free hand, then covers up the mouthpiece. "Would you find Luther's wallet?"

" _Whassat?"_ Diego slurs as Ben nods and leaves the room.

"Not you, buddy," Klaus tells Diego. "I'll be there soon. I know it goes against your very nature, but I need you to please  _please_  try and not fight anyone. You don't have a weapon on you, do you?"

" _No,"_ Diego says, and Klaus is pleasantly surprised until he continues, rather proudly, " _I've got eight."_

Klaus sighs and runs long fingers through his curls. "Oooof  _course_  you do."

"Found it!" Ben's voice calls from Luther's room.

"K, Diego, I'm gonna come get you. Do not, I implore you, do  _not_  use any of your eight weapons. Got it?"

" _Yyyyup."_

"Good. Give me fifteen minutes." He hangs up and shoves his phone in his pocket as he makes his way to Luther's room, thankful that his massive brother is a heavy sleeper.

"Nightstand," Ben says, pointing to the little table next to the massive bed.

"Perfect," Klaus whispers, crossing the room and picking up Luther's wallet. He opens it and pulls out a wad of cash. It seems Number One is a little out of practice after his alone time on the moon. He just snores loudly as Klaus sneaks out of his room with all of his money, closing the door behind him.

"You coming with?" Klaus asks Ben as he counts the money, smile growing as he realizes just how much money he's just snagged.

Ben shrugs. "It's not like I have anything better to do. Plus the last time I saw Diego drunk, he accidentally threw a knife into Luther's shoulder."

Klaus lets out a loud laugh at the memory as he dials his usual taxi service. "Man, we were kids then. I haven't thought about that in ages. Luther whined about it every day until he could lift weights again."

"And he was totally convinced Diego had done it on purpose."

"Honestly? I think maybe-" His answer is cut off by a bored voice on the phone.

" _Ezy Cab 24 Hour Taxi Service."_

Klaus smiles. "Sami! It's been too long, my dear!"

" _Klaus. Where am I picking you up?"_ Sami doesn't sound very excited.

Probably because Klaus puked in the backseat last time he rode in one of his cabs.

"I told you I'm going to pay for that cleanup and I intend to. And you're picking me up at home."

" _Isn't it a little late, even for you?"_

Klaus sighs loudly. "I love you, Sami, but I don't pay you to ask questions."

" _Most of the time you don't pay me at all."_

Klaus counts the money and feels his eyebrows climb up his forehead. "Well, I'm making it up to you tonight. I'll be out front."

He doesn't bother putting on another layer before he goes out. Cold nights stopped bothering him ages ago, and even without the drugs to take the edge off, the sharp night air does little but raise a few goosebumps that are gone as quickly as they arrived.

"I think Eugene is the driver," Klaus says, bouncing on his heels. He looks over at Ben. "Who do you think it'll be?"

"Usual bet?"

Klaus nods. "Only now that dear old Dad is dead and you can't really spy on him, we'll need to make a slight adjustment. If I win, you have to spy on...Ugh, Luther, I suppose." The look of disgust on Ben's face is enough to bring a smile to Klaus's face despite the fact that he also doesn't want to spy on Luther.

"And if  _I_  win I get to pick the next movie we watch-any movie of my choosing. I think Sami's driving tonight."

Klaus scoffs. "Foolish boy!"

The taxi appears a minute later, pulling up to the sidewalk where Klaus is waiting. He leans forward and puts one hand on the top of the cab, smirking over at Ben as he leans down look in the window. The smirk fades as the window rolls down. "Sami,  _darling_ ," he says through a fake smile. "I wasn't expecting you to come down here yourself." He shoots a quick scowl at Ben, who's watching him with a shit-eating grin.

"Yeah, well, my drivers all refused to do it," Sami says.

Klaus gasps in mock offense, putting one hand on his chest. "Even Eugene?"

"Especially Eugene. Where to?"

Klaus climbs into the backseat and shuts the door behind him. "The Pink Slip," he says as Ben materializes in the seat beside him.

Sami looks at Klaus in the rearview mirror, one eyebrow raised. "You seem different but not  _that_  different. What's changed?"

"Well I finally bought my own mascara instead of using Allison's. It makes my lashes  _much_  more lush than my usual-"

Sami's eyes widen. "Holy shit, are you sober?" He twists to look at Klaus. "Are you sober?"

"Sami, the road," Klaus says, and he has to suppress a smile. It's been awhile since the attention he was at the center of was of the positive variety, and it's making him feel almost-and he can't believe this because it is not a feeling with which he is at  _all_ acquainted-shy.

"Klaus Hargreeves, sober," Sami says, shaking his head with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah," Klaus says, waving a hand. Ben is gazing at him with a dumb (proud?) look on his face and Klaus shakes his head. "Stop looking at me."

Sami laughs for a second, and then his face grows serious and he looks in the rearview again. "Wait, by driving you to The Pink Slip, I'm not ruining it am I?"

"No, no, of course not. I'm just going to get my dear lightweight of a brother and haul his inebriated ass home."

"At two in the morning?"

"Well. You know what I always say-family first," Klaus says, ignoring the snort this elicits from Ben.

"I have never heard you say that," Sami says.

"Me neither," Ben says, reaching to put a hand on Sami's shoulder as if it isn't going to go straight through.

"Which brother is it? I know it's not Ben, he's too young to drink. And Luther, from what I've heard, doesn't strike me as a lightweight...Diego, then? I thought he was the responsible one."

"So did I, Sami. So did I, and yet here we are, in the back of your shitty cab-"

Sami raises an eyebrow at him in the rearview. "Hey, now."

"Sorry, your  _exemplary_ cab-" He smiles when the comment prompts a  _harumph_ from Sami and then continues, "-heading to a shitty bar at two in the morning. And I'm not even going there to drink."

"How does it feel?"

The question takes him off guard, and for a moment Klaus is speechless. And then he smiles (he's been doing that a lot tonight, and it's strange because usually when he's sober he feels pretty damn miserable) and he says, "You know Sami? It feels good. It's nice to feel…" He trails off and looks over at Ben.

"Needed?" Ben says, and Klaus nods.

"Needed."

"Here we are," Sami says pulling into the parking lot of The Pink Slip. He slows to a stop and then twists in his seat all the way this time so he can lock eyes with Klaus. "You keep this up, okay? I like seeing you like this."

"I'll do my best," Klaus says, digging into his pocket and pulling out Luther's money. He peels off a few bills and puts them back before handing the rest to Sami. He smiles as Sami's eyes widen and pats him on the shoulder. "Thanks for the ride." He exits the cab as Sami counts the bills and turns toward the bar with a grimace. "This place really is terrible."

"It doesn't looks so bad," Ben says, but it's clear from the expression he's wearing, highlighted by the the fuchsia neon of the sign, that he's lying.

"Okay, let's just go in, get Diego, and get out."

"Good plan," Ben answers. It's clear that he knows  _why_  that's the plan. Not just because The Pink Slip is a shithole, but because this sobriety thing is still new and a little fragile and Klaus worries that if he's in there for too long, the temptation may just get to him.

Klaus takes a deep breath, and enters the bar. There's a crowd gathered by the counter at the left-hand wall, and Klaus watches a sleazy looking guy hand a folded bill to a sleazier looking guy while saying, "He's gonna lose a finger."

"You think that's Diego?" Ben asks, voice raised almost to a shout so he can be heard above the music.

Klaus nods and pushes through the small wall of people. His eyes roll practically out of his head as he takes in the scene before him.

Diego is sitting with his hand on the counter, fingers splayed. In his other hand is a small knife, and people are watching as he stabs the space between each of his fingers. His movements are quick and neat, despite the fact that he's drunk as a skunk, and Klaus is mildly offended that apparently his brother's superpower isn't contingent on his being sober.

"Take another shot!" the sleazy guy says.

"He's not getting another shot," the bartender says with a stern look. Klaus recognizes his voice from the phone call.

"Aw, c'mon, Chief. Just one more?"

"No. And no more betting, either."

A dejected cry comes up from the crowd surrounding Diego, who looks up at the bartender with a sour look and points his tiny knife at him.

"Why don' you take that stick outta your ass and-"

"That's enough of that!" Klaus says, lurching forward and grabbing Diego's wrist. Diego turns with a deadly expression, but it quickly vanishes when he recognizes Klaus. He smiles and pats Klaus's wrist with his free hand.

"Heeeeey, brother."

"Hi, Diego," Klaus says, plucking the knife from Diego's grip. "What did I say about the knives?"

"I didn' fight anyone."

"I told you not to  _use_  them."

"You meant on someone else."

"No I didn't," Klaus says, even though he definitely did.

"Gimme my knife," Diego says, putting his hand out to Klaus palm-up.

"Only if you put it away. No more of that fingery...stabby shit."

" _Fine."_

Klaus hands the blade over to Diego, who squirrels it it away into one of his million sheaths.

"He all paid up?" Klaus asks the bartender.

He nods."Yeah, but he nicked up my counter pretty good."

Klaus pulls out the remainder of Luther's cash and passes it to the bartender. "Will that cover it?"

The bartender's face doesn't change as he counts the money. "That should do it." He reaches under the counter and pulls out a set of keys, passing them wordlessly to Klaus.

"Thank you," Klaus says, snagging Diego's keys. "Alright, Diego, let's go."

Diego puts one arm on the counter and slips-literally slips-from the barstool and promptly falls on his ass.

"'m sorry," he mumbles as Klaus bends down and grabs him by the arm.

"Yeah, yeah," Klaus says as he helps Diego to his feet. "Let's just get you home." He wrinkles his nose as they make it out of the bar and into the parking lot. "God, you smell like a spring breaker. I thought it was just the bar, but it's definitely you. You drink all the tequila they had?"

Diego lets out a laugh. "Prob'ly." He leans heavily on Klaus as he steps get increasingly sloppy.

"What happened to 'my body is a temple'?" Klaus says between pants. "And The Pink Slip? Really?"

Diego is quiet for a moment. When he speaks, his voice is heavy with emotion. "It was her favorite." Any amusement Klaus felt at the situation vanishes as Diego continues. "I miss her, Klaus. I miss...I miss her hair 'n...and her voice and the-the way she smells.  _God._ "

Klaus's chest aches and his throat tightens as his eyes begin to sting. He blinks back tears, then reaches up with one hand and pats the top of Diego's head before letting his head rest there. "Yeah."

"I jus', I wanna tell her, Klaus. I wanna tell her."

"What, that you love her? I think she-"

" _No_." Diego says, firmly enough to silence Klaus."I wanna tell her, um...That I'm sorry. I wanna tell her I'm…" He trails off and comes to a halt so suddenly that Klaus takes a few steps before he notices that he's left his brother behind.

"You okay? You need to puke?" Klaus says as he turns around.

Diego closes the space between them and grabs Klaus's arms a little too hard, eyes wide and eyebrows knit together. "You," he says.

Klaus shakes his head, knowing exactly where this is going. "No, Diego-"

"You can help me! You can…Klaus you can-"

"I can't," Klaus says, and Diego's grip tightens, face pleading.

"Please." There are tears in his eyes. " _Please._ I need to...Please, Klaus."

The sight of his inebriated brother begging is too much, and Klaus caves. " _Fine_."

Some of the tension on Diego's face melts away and he lets go of Klaus and takes a step back. "Thank you.  _Thank you_."

Klaus clears his throat and takes a deep breath. "Right. Uh...Detective Patch? This is Klaus. Klaus Hargreeves? Diego's brother. Which, you know that. Uh...Anyway, he has something to say to you. So if you would just, uh...drop by so he could say it? That would be great and we'd...we'd really appreciate it." A long silence goes by before Klaus says, "Detective?"

"Is she here?" Diego says desperately.

"She…" Klaus looks at him, all pathetic and broken, and he lies. "Yeah, she's here. She's standing right in front of you. Go ahead and say what you need to say."

Diego nods. He opens his mouth and then closes it. Tears slip noiselessly down his cheeks. When he finally speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper. "Eudora? I'm s-s-sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've...I should've been there, I-I should've…" He stops, sniffling, and hangs his head. "I'm s-sorry."

As Klaus stares at Diego, his agonized expression, he's not sure what to do. He looks over at Ben with a helpless expression.

"What do you wish Dave would say to you?" Ben says, and the words are an icy blade to the heart, but they also help, because suddenly Klaus knows exactly what to say.

"She says don't be," Klaus says, and Diego looks up.

"What?"

"She says don't be," Klaus repeats. "She says you sound stupid when you apologize. And it...it wasn't your fault and…" He takes a deep breath. "You're stupid for blaming yourself. And she wants me to tell you that it's okay to grieve, but that you have to move on. The past is the past and I can't… _You_ can't go back."

At that, Diego dissolves into tears and lowers himself gracelessly to the ground, sitting with one leg bent, the other stretched out on the asphalt.

"Is there anything else you want to say, or...or ask?" Klaus says quietly, crouching next to him.

Diego sniffs. "Did...did it hurt?" he asks the empty space in front of him.

"No. No, it...it was fast."

Diego nods, lip trembling, and then he leans into Klaus and he sobs. Klaus doesn't say anything, just puts his arm around Diego's shoulders and pulls him a little closer and cries with him. They sit like that until Diego stirs and mumbles something.

"What was that?" Klaus says.

"'m gonna be sick."

"N-okay, just-wait. Please." Klaus pushes Diego into a sitting position and then hops to his feet and moves so he's standing behind his drunken brother's face instead of in front of it. "Okay you just...go for it. I guess."

"You're good at this," Ben says, voice dripping with sarcasm, and Klaus flips him the bird.

"Wait," Diego says, twisting around to look up at Klaus. "I change my mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes...No. I dunno- _oh."_  He makes a gagging sound and leans over to the side to puke.

Klaus turns away and shoots Ben a desperate look as their brother retches. "What do I do? I'm usually the one doing the puking!" Ben just shrugs.

"'m done," Diego says a second later, waving a hand Klaus's way.

"Are you really?"

"Mmhmm." Diego nods, and the movement almost sends him tipping over backward.

"Alright," Klaus says, standing behind Diego so he ends up bumping against Klaus's legs instead of on the ground. Klaus grabs him under the armpits, grunting with effort as he helps Diego to his feet. "Home."

They make it the rest of the way to Diego's car without incidence, and Klaus helps him get into the passenger seat and buckles him in.

"Arms and legs inside the vehicle," he says, and Diego just looks at him, confused. "Move your foot, bro."

"Oh," Diego says, sliding his right foot the rest of the way into the car. Klaus smiles at him, then closes the door and goes around to the driver's side. He puts the key in the ignition, privately praying that he can actually remember how to drive. He starts the car with no problem, so probably it's fine. He looks over at his very inebriated brother, who seems to be barely awake as the alcohol really hits him. "You good to go, Knives Chau?"

Diego just hums in response, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the window.

"Is this like a concussion?" Klaus asks Ben as he pulls out of the parking lot. "Do I need to keep him awake?"

"I don't think so?" Ben says from where he's sprawled across the backseat.

"The fact that you said that as a question is  _very_ reassuring."

"'sat Ben?" Diego says, lifting his head a little, eyes opened halfway.

Klaus looks over at him in surprise. "Uuuh, yeah. Yeah it is."

Diego nods seriously. "Miss you twerp," he says before closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the window. He's snoring before Ben has a chance to respond.

"Miss you too, bud," Ben says anyway. Then, "He's going to have one hell of a hangover."

Klaus looks over at his sleeping brother. "You are absolutely right, the poor bastard. Guess it's a good thing we were around to haul his sorry ass out of that sorry excuse for a bar."

Ben snorts. "I wasn't really much help. But thank you."

"You did help!" Klaus says. He can feel Ben watching him, and stares harder at the road. He sighs. "Look, if you hadn't said what you said, I…" He shrugs as he rolls to a stop at the last red light before home.

"All I did was give you a little nudge," Ben responds. "The rest was all you."

"I'm gonna see what's on the radio," Klaus says, reaching forward.

"Hey," Ben says, and his tone stops Klaus's hand.

"What?" Klaus's finger hovers over the button.

"It's okay to feel good about yourself. It's okay to feel important."

"I know that." He doesn't even convince himself when he says it.

"It's green."

Klaus frowns. "What?"

"The light!"

"Oh!" Klaus pulls forward, grateful for the absence of traffic that comes with driving at ungodly hours.

"Anyway." Klaus grimaces as Ben goes back to the conversation. "I think you got so used to hearing that you were...useless and a mess and whatever else they told you that you started to believe it. And now even though you're working through your shit and trying to be a better version of yourself, you're stuck in that...that mindset! And you don't have to be. You  _have_  to believe that, Klaus. And once you believe it,  _really_  believe it-everyone else will, too."

"I wish you could just tell them. They'd listen to you."

"Well, I can't. So you're going to have to make them listen."

Klaus snorts as he pulls up to the house. "Yeah, 've seen how much they listen to me."

"Just try. Promise me you'll at least try."

"I'll try," Klaus mumbles.

" _Promise."_

"Fine! Fine, I promise I'll try. God, you're so annoying. I hate you. Did you know that I hate you?"

Ben just smiles and shakes his head. "Whatever you say."

Klaus sticks his tongue out at Ben before turning to Diego, who's still snoring with his head against the window. "Hey," he says, nudging his brother's arm. Diego groans a little but doesn't wake up. " _Hey_." Klaus pushes him harder, but that doesn't work either. Klaus rolls his eyes and sticks his pinkie in his mouth.

"That's a bad idea," Ben says.

Klaus ignores him. He's had plenty of practice on Luther the super soldier and Diego the knife-wielding maniac, and if there's one thing he's sure he can do, it's this.

"Watch and learn, my padawan," he says, and then, in a swift movement, sticks his pinkie in Diego's ear and then ducks out of the way and covers his head and his other vital bits as Diego flails.

"Fuck off," Diego whines, slapping at Klaus's arm.

"Hey," Klaus says, slapping back and ignoring Ben laughing in the backseat. "Quit it, Diego!"

Diego mumbles something and leans his head back toward the window.

"No. No! Diego, no sleeping! We've got to get you to your bed." He gets out of the car and circles around to Diego's side, opening his car door and then unfastening his seatbelt. Diego pouts up at him. He looks so young that Klaus smiles in spite of himself as he bends down and pulls Diego's arm around his shoulders. Looking at the house, he's not sure how the hell he's going to get Diego to his room at all, much less without waking up the whole family, but he's gonna try anyway.

"Come on, brother. Time for bed."

xxx

Diego finally emerges from his bedroom at three in the afternoon, looking better than he has any right to after the bender he went on last night. He doesn't look at Klaus as he walks past him toward the kitchen, doesn't say anything as he pulls the orange juice from the fridge and chugs the whole thing, doesn't even complain when he pulls the egg carton out of the fridge and finds it empty (Klaus did it-has been doing it their whole lives and he doesn't intend to stop now), just throws it in the trash and grabs an apple instead.

"Hey," he finally says, pausing with one foot on the bottom stair, and Klaus looks up.

"I'm not apologizing for the eggs."

Diego rolls his eyes. "Whatever, I don't care about the eggs. I just…" He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and chews on it a second before he says, "Thank you."

Klaus shrugs, and Diego takes his foot off the step and walks over to the couch and sits next to him, looking over at him with wide eyes and a furrowed brow.

"No, I mean it," he says, and puts a hand on Klaus's bare knee. "Thank you." There's something else he wants to say, Klaus can tell that much, so he waits. Finally, Diego says, "You should try talking to him."

"Who?"

"Dave."

Guilt floods him and Klaus is speaking before he knows what he's doing. "Diego, about last night. I didn't actually-"

"I know," Diego says, and he means it, which just makes Klaus feel worse. "But what you did for me, it...You're a good brother. I knew that when we were kids, but then...I just wish I'd remembered sooner."

Heat rushes to Klaus's face and he feels uncomfortable at the unexpected praise, his mouth falling open, his brain struggling to come up with a response. Thankfully, Diego doesn't appear to have any more desire to continue the conversation than Klaus does, because he speaks again before Klaus has the chance to respond. "Anyway, you should try and talk to him. I think it would be good for you."

There's a part of Klaus-an overwhelmingly large part of him-that wants to do what he usually does and laugh off his pain because that's infinitely easier than acknowledging it. But the small part of him that's left remembers last night, and how good it felt to actually say some of the things that he'd been thinking but too afraid to admit. "You don't think I want to?" he finally says, and Diego looks up. Klaus continues. "I've thought about it every day since I've been back."

"Then what're you afraid of?" Diego asks quietly.

 _I'm not afraid_ , Klaus wants to snap. Instead he closes his eyes and he takes a deep breath and if his eyes are a little wet when he opens them, Diego doesn't mention it. He swallows the lump in his throat and answers the question. "That it's not going to be the same."

"Well of course it's not going to be the same."

Klaus blinks. "What?"

"Well, I mean. Not to be insensitive but...he's dead. That's gonna make things different. And you're not in Vietnam, that's different. Shit, gay marriage is legal now, that is…that is  _hella_  different...What?"

There's something about hearing it- _He's dead_ -said so casually that triggers something in Klaus, and he can't help but giggle. He's trying to contain it, because he knows Diego is trying to help, but his body is shaking with it and there's nothing he can do to stop it. Diego tries to look offended, but soon he's chuckling, too.

"What? What are you laughing at?"

"Noth-nothing!" Klaus responds, trying and failing not to smile as he says it. "No, please. Keep listing ways it's different."

Diego's lips twitch. "Uuh...Well now I'm just thinking about you two getting married which I guess you might not be able to do because, well...you know…" He snorts. "I'm sorry. No, I mean…"

"Go on," Klaus urges.

"I mean…" Diego squints, his mouth drawing into a thin line, brow furrowing. He kind of looks like he's going to explode.

"What, what's different?" Klaus is cackling now.

Diego opens his mouth and then closes it and then opens it again. "...Porn?"

"Porn," Klaus laughs. And then he's laughing so much it hurts. " _Porn_? That's what your thinking about?"

Diego grabs a pillow and lobs it at Klaus's head. "I don't wanna be! It's just, I thought of the wedding thing and-"

"Porn!" Klaus howls and the two of them laugh until they're wiping away tears.

"Listen," Diego says, catching his breath, and Klaus snickers. Diego hits him with the pillow again. "No, I mean it! Listen!"

"Fine, fine! I'm listening."

Diego looks him in the eyes, his gaze surprisingly earnest considering what they'd just been talking (mostly laughing) about. "Things aren't going to be the same as they were back then. I mean, they can't. It's-it's impossible. But the things that matter most...How you-" He bites his bottom lip and swallows hard. "How you feel about him? That's not gonna change. No matter what. Okay?"

Klaus watches Diego, and as he thinks about his brother's surprisingly wise words, his heart aches for him. Because there's a lot more standing between Diego and Eudora than there is between Klaus and Dave.

"Okay?" Diego repeats.

"Okay."

"Okay. Now I'm going to eat this apple."

"Is it the last one?" Klaus smiles inwardly as annoyance creeps onto Diego's face.

"Yup."

"Can I have a bite?"

Diego's eyes narrow in suspicion. "...You can have one bite," he finally says, handing the apple over.

"Thank you!" Klaus says, and decides to take the biggest bite he can manage, opening his mouth as wide as he can. Diego quickly realizes what's happening and reaches for the apple that's still in Klaus's mouth.

"Klaus, no! Dammit!"

Klaus finishes taking his bite and hands the rest of the apple back to Diego.

"You ate, like, half of it you asshole!" Diego says, inspecting the chunk that's been taken out of the fruit before throwing it at Klaus. This time Klaus isn't fast enough getting out of the way, and he gets nailed in the center of the forehead.

"Ow!" he cries as the apple bounces to the floor.

"You deserved that," Diego says, pushing himself to his feet. "Now I'm gonna go find some breakfast. Not sure what I'm gonna eat though, since you ate my apple and used up all the eggs."

"I thought you didn't care about the eggs!"

"Well I do, now, since you decided to be a dick!" He storms out of the room, rather dramatically, and it makes Klaus smile.

"Hey, Diego!" he calls.

" _What?_ "

"I've got Lucky Charms in my room if you want any!"

"I don't need your damn Lucky Charms!"

"Whatever you say, Diego dearest!"

Their lives are really fucking insane and they've both been through some terrible and frankly horrific shit and sobering up sucks, but in this moment, things don't actually seem so bad. Because for the first time in ages, Klaus doesn't feel so alone. And he's starting to feel like he's part of a family again. A messed up, traumatized family, but a family nonetheless. And he's not sure what's going to happen with all this apocalypse nonsense, but something tells him that if they stick together, it'll all be alright.

xxx


End file.
